Thank You Mom!
Inspiration can hit at any moment, at any time. Oddly enough, the inspiration for this came from comedian Brad Williams. I was listening to him being interviewed on Howie Mandel’s podcast. It was not only the funniest episode I have heard so far, but also one of the most touching.
For those of you who do not know Brad Williams, allow me to explain. Brad is a dwarf comedian. A lot of his stand-up routines revolve around him being a dwarf. He said on the podcast that a lot of people ask him how he writes his material. He explained that he had a two-step process:
1] Be a Dwarf
2] Wait
Being a dwarf, he said, things just happen around you. Some of the situations he talked about on the podcast, are some of the craziest and funniest things I have ever heard.
Then the tone of the conversation got very serious as he explained the unique relationship he has with his father. In his family, his mother, his father and his sibling are all average sized. He is the only one who is a dwarf. His father knew that people would treat him differently, so, he taught Brad how to be funny. If Brad walked into a crowd and made a dwarf joke, then people would know that he is comfortable with the issue. His father knew that people would always pick on him about his condition, so, he sat down with Brad and wrote funny comebacks to anything people would say. When a kid at school DID start to pick on Brad, he had a very harsh but funny comeback that got him sent to the principal's office. The principal called his father and his father asked one question: Did Brad start it or did he finish it? The principal said he finished it but it was mean. His father said then he didn’t have a problem with it and hung up.
I know I am going on about this comedian, but the fact that his father did that for him, inspired me to write about someone that helped me out as a kid.
I don’t comprehend things as easily as most people do. When I started school, I could never sit still, I wouldn’t concentrate and homework, especially, was a nightmare for me. Each year I seemed to get worse. It came to a boiling point when I was in third grade and my teacher would do everything to punish me for not concentrating. She moved my seat on a daily basis, isolated me by placing my desk in the dark hallway during class, and because I couldn’t stay in my seat, she strapped me to the chair. She never took the time as a teacher to stop and think that something wasn’t right. She just thought I lacked discipline. What she didn’t know was I was getting plenty of it at home during homework.
It got so bad that my parents decided to take me out of catholic school and put me into a public one. Someone told them I may have a learning disability. They had me tested and sure enough, I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). This was before they added the word Hyperactive into it and now it is considered ADHD.
With this comes both good and bad traits. If I have no interest in what someone is trying to teach me, I zone out. Which makes learning a new subject very hard. The good thing (or bad depending on who you talk to) is that if I pursue something that I am interested in, I get HYPER focused, obsessed even.
Getting back to the story at hand, this made homework time a living hell. It was not just a living hell for me, but my mother as well. My father was always working and stepped in the few times he had to. My mother on the other hand, kept on top of me making sure that I not only got my work done, but that it was done correctly. If a teacher assigned homework that took 1 ½ hours, it took me 3 hours. Not just 3 hours of sitting down and simply doing it either. Because I had no interest in doing it, I fought it tooth and nail, trying everything I could to get out of it.
From the time I got home and sometimes, until the time I went to bed, it was the worst hell you could possibly imagine between my mother and I. There were screaming matches, beatings, punishments, privileges taken away etc. I must have been beaten with every item in the house at LEAST twice. Before this takes a dramatic turn, let me just state that I have never once thought of this as child abuse, I still don’t. This is what was done back then and it was acceptable. Parents didn’t have all the information that they do today. They did the best they could with the tools they had. I am so appreciative now for it that I am writing this article. If it were not for all that, I wouldn’t be a writer today.
When mom gave me a punishment, she followed through no matter what! I remember I was having a problem remembering to bring the right books home for homework. My father and I had gotten tickets to see The Rolling Stones on the Voodoo Lounge Tour. I was so excited! I was a musician back then and I couldn’t wait to see them. My mother said if you don’t bring your books home, you don’t go to the concert. As a parent now, we have ALL made that threat. With my mother, this was not a threat, this was a promise. When the day came for the concert, I forgot one book and she wasn’t joking. I did not see The Rolling Stones. My father still went and had to find someone to take my ticket. I was heartbroken. As much as it hurt me, it taught me a very valuable lesson. Don’t call Mom’s bluff. EVER!
The homework hell lasted through high school. No matter what had to be done, to make sure I graduate, Mom did it. She was so proud to see me walk down that aisle and get my diploma. It wouldn’t be the last time.
It wasn't until I started college that I really excelled in my grades. Why? Because I was doing something that I was interested in. Mom got to see me walk down the aisle again, to receive my Associate's Degree...and then my Bachelor’s Degree. The last time she saw me walk down the aisle, was the day I got married. As a matter of fact, the only detail of the wedding I would not budge on, was the song I danced with Mom to. I always wanted “Your Song” by Garth Brooks. It’s hard to find now, but the song talks about how whenever he doubts himself, he thinks of her because if it weren’t for her, he wouldn’t be where he is.
I am not writing this to make Mom out to be some evil mother. Just the opposite in fact. I look back and although life was a living hell, Mom was the strict person I needed in my life to keep me working. Mom pushed me to my limits and kept on me no matter what it took to make me who I am today.
I have written poems about it, and posted on-line about it, but I have never told this story like this. I NEVER miss the opportunity to thank her for everything she did, all that she sacrificed. I have apologized several times to both my parents for putting them through that hell, but I thank them all the time because I would not be who I am without them.
So, when I heard Brad Williams talk so openly about his relationship with his father, it made me think of my relationship with Mom.
Until next time,
Thanks for reading.
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